clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

This map of Northern Virginia will probably offend everyone

Snarky humor alert!

Map by Robert Thompson for Judgmental Maps

Editor's Note: This post was originally published in April 2014 and has been updated with the most recent information.

There have been a couple publications out there that have attempted to make a map of D.C. based on neighborhood stereotypes. They generally ranged from clever to ignorance masquerading as cleverness, but this Judgmental Map of Northern Virginia throws all pretense of niceties out the window.

It's just flat out bent on offending people, and if laughs happen along the way, all the better. The map actually does have its amusing moments like listing Tysons as "overpriced mall," Wolf Trap as "concerts," and Dulles as "airport with overpriced flights to everywhere."

There is the issue, though, that the map creator Robert Thompson seems to have an obsession with never ending phallus jokes. When the map is not obsessing over fellatio, it's calling Dumfries "Rednecks With Some Teeth" (as opposed to "Rednecks With No Teeth"), referring to Springfield as "Gang Killings," and pigeonholing Vienna as "Indian Doctors."

Basically, everyone that comes from these suburban areas will likely find something on this map to make them angry.

That said, discuss amongst yourselves whether NoVa fared better than the following U.S. cities:

For more quirky, fun maps, head to Curbed DC here.

Judgmental Map of Northern Virginia [Judgmental Maps]