The proclaimed poet of D.C. real estate has made his mark again with a new rap tailored to this $2 million Capitol Hill single-family home. Tom Faison is known for his nonsensical slam poetry listings that never really, clearly describe the property at all. For this listing, it comes with recessed lighting, a breakfast bar, hardwood flooring throughout, and skylights. The five-bedroom, five-bathroom listing was last sold in May 2014 for $830,000, and is now back on the market for $2 million. What you need to know, according to the listing, is:
Gallery collection, thirty-something framed reflections, windows as art, lightning bolt brush-strokes my brain, provokes my heart, your part, start walking, but pack a lunch, a trail of crumbs, back in an hour or we'll call for your lender, send her searching nearly 4,000 jaw-dropping, Astaire-hopping feet, at the seat of Eastern Market, completed by buildress who's eyes didn't miss a single inch. Believe it or not, brokerbabble in rap form isn't exactly a new thing in the D.C. area. See some of the best slam poetry ever found in Washington, D.C.'s housing market by going here.
[UPDATE: A previous version of this article described the listing as a condo when it is in fact a single-family home.]
· 301 11th Street SE [Estately]
· Talking With Tom Faison, The Poet Of D.C. Real Estate Listings [Curbed DC]
· A Look at D.C.'s Latest Elliptical, Rhyming Real Estate Listings [Curbed DC]