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D.C.'s Statues Are Super Unhappy, According to Microsoft

Just recently, Microsoft released a new demo of a tool that identifies the emotions of photographed faces. Hyperallergic reported that the tool has been used to identify everything from Leonardo da Vinci's "Mona Lisa" (43 percent happy) to Johannes Vermeer's "Girl with a Pearl Earring" (13 percent happy). Now, Curbed wants to take a look at how the emotion recognition tool might judge some of the many statues found in the nation's capital. Don't expect the findings to be too accurate as Microsoft admits that "Recognition is experimental, and not always accurate." Unfortunately, a few photos Curbed uploaded to the tool didn't seem to work, so if you were interested in seeing how happy Thomas Jefferson's statue is, sorry. Below, you will be able to find six statues, from the Franklin Delano Roosevelt statue to the Martin Luther King, Jr. statue. If interested in giving Microsoft's tool a whirl, check it out here.



Martin Luther King, Jr. had a dream. He also apparently isn't too happy (0.1 percent). In fact, he's more sad than he is happy (7 percent sad). Bummer.


↑ Despite having his trusty dog nearby, Franklin Delano Roosevelt is one of the least happy statues of them all, clocking in at 0.01 percent. He's also one of the most neutral at 92 percent.


George Mason is one of the least neutral statues on this list (88 percent) and is only slightly sad (9 percent). In terms of happiness, he's only a teensy bit on the chipper side (0.5 percent).


John Marshall was the fourth Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court. He's also the least neutral statue on this list (61 percent). His happiness level? A measly 0.5 percent.


↑ Who else in the world would be the happiest statue in Washington, D.C. but Albert Einstein. We're talking 25 percent happy. That's not too great when he's 71 percent neutral, but we'll take it.


↑ Founding Father George Washington is the least happy. He's so unhappy. We're talking only 0.005 percent happy. On the other hand, he's 2 percent sad and 95 percent neutral. What is this world coming to?
· Microsoft's New Emotion-Detecting App Deems the Mona Lisa 43% Happy [Hyperallergic]
· Emotion Recognition Demo [Microsoft]