Thus far, Outdoors Week has been a celebration of all the fantastic, underrated and otherwise beautiful outdoor spots in D.C. Let's put aside all of that good will for a moment, because not all outdoor spaces and "parks" in the District are created equal. As such, the Curbed staff tapped some of the D.C. area's other stand-up comedians to help put together a list of the D.C.'s lousiest outdoor spots. Sure, some of the spaces have already been lauded for their good qualities, but now it's time to focus on the crappy ones.
Any "Office Park" in D.C.
Go to Judiciary Square and just try not to be sad.
— Katherine Jessup
Rock Creek Park
How does anybody pass by without thinking of murder?
— Max Rosenblum
Maine Avenue Fish Market
It's awful unless you like being splattered with crustaceaous innards while standing eight inches away from the sun for an endless 40 minutes...without a cold beer.
— Alli Hanley
Georgia Avenue Metro
I go there if I need some crime scene tape. Or if I want to sit at a 60-second red light for no cross-traffic.
— Graham Hall
The Drum Circle at Meridian Hill Park/Malcolm X Park
It's the Hipster Olympics for better or for worse. As a matter of fact, I hate how people are trying to change the name back to Meridian Hill. It will always be Malcolm X!
— Reggie Melbrough
D.C. really didn't need an equivalent to the overcrowded and overly loud hot mess that is Times Square, but with the help of floods of teenage concert-goers, ever-present buskers and pointless neon signage, we've managed to cram the ambience of New York's tourist trap into a space one quarter of the size.
— Valerie Paschall
· All Outdoors Week 2014 Coverage [CDC]