Oh, D.C. brokerbabble. Just when we start to think local listings are all boring, informative descriptions of homes and overuse of exclamation points, you find new and different ways to to keep us entertained. This broker must assume that the buyer is either a fan of poetry or solving sudoku puzzles because it took awhile to decipher their meaning. We finally figured out that the renovated kitchen was so nice and spacious that one could easily get lost in the details, but the listing states is, "Curse you Connell & Schmidt! You've ruined all other kitchens for me now!...Explore some more, but pack a picnic & leave a trail of crumbs. If you're not back in 40 we'll send for your mortgage broker." Well, that is one way of selling potential buyers on a $1.35 million townhouse. Honestly, the classy decor and access to a deck and personal garage would probably be convincing enough. We have the entire text of the listing after the jump.
"Curse you Connell & Schmidt! You've ruined all other kitchens for me now! Masterfully man-made waterfall island is the dashboard of life, Command Central in an incredibly intense, yet intensely calm setting. Sophisticated is understated. Explore some more, but pack a picnic & leave a trail of crumbs. If you're not back in 40 we'll send for your mortgage broker."
· 626 4th Street NE [Estately]