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If You're A Lady Who Gets No Play, Head To Silver Spring

Feeling lonely and sexually-frustrated? Is your only companion a rabbit with a long battery life? Think dudes are skeezy because they pimp out their spaces to only hot, sexually-available chicks? Also, do you want to live close to the Red Line? Per-fect. We've found you a roommate in Silver Spring. This seeker is looking for a loveless female "who doesn't entertain overnight guests of a romantic nature, boyfriends or otherwise" because this place is strictly a "booty-free zone". And bonus: It's close to the Wheaton Metro. Plus, your future roommate has an "adorable bunny friend" she refers to as Winter. No guesses as to whether that bunny vibrates or not.

· $837 / 1107ft² - Seeking chaste female roommate - awesome 2BR 2BA close to Metro (Wheaton) [Craigslist]
· Guy Seeks Several Hot Chicks For Roommates, Plans to Keep Things Platonic [CDC]